Once upon a time, in the Land of the Free, there were three little candidates, Giuliani, Romney and Huckabee.
Giuliani built his campaign on Blue-Haired Floridians. He proclaimed that if every child in America doesn’t get an “A” in algebra, the terrorists win.
One day, Big Bad McCain knocked on Giuliani’s door and spoke in a high-pitched whine, “Open the door and let me in.”
Giuliani scurried under the bed and cried out, “9-11! 9-11!”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your campaign in!”
So Big Bad McCain huffed and he puffed and he blew Giuliani’s campaign in, then gobbled him up in one bite.
Romney built his campaign on the Soft Housing Market. He vowed that Holy Underwear would have no place in his administration.
Big Bad McCain knocked on Romney’s door and whimpered, “Open the door and let me in.”
Romney hid in the closet and cried out, “Reagan Conservative! Reagan Conservative!”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your campaign in!”
So Big Bad McCain huffed and he puffed and he blew Romney’s campaign in, then gobbled him up in one bite.
Huckabee built his campaign on God and Rock ‘n’ Roll. He promised to make Elvis’ birthday a National Holiday.
Big Bad McCain knocked on Huckabee’s door and meowed, “Open the door and let me in.”
Huckabee grabbed his guitar, cranked up the amplifier and began to sing, “One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready now go, McCain, go!”
“Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your campaign in!”
So he huffed and he puffed and he puffed and he huffed, but Huckabee’s campaign wouldn’t budge. The sound of Rock ‘n’ Roll blared through the walls.
Big Bad McCain called for reinforcements, and with the help of two Dwarfs named Limbaugh and O’Reilly, managed to bust out a few windows and jimmy open the back door. McCain gobbled up Huckabee in one bite.
But Huckabee still had a death-grip on his guitar, which was plugged into the amplifier, which was plugged into the wall. Zapped with a lightning bolt from God, Big Bad McCain fell to the floor unconscious.
Suddenly, the whole campaign shook on its foundation. Obama the Giant approached with a deep, rumbling bellow, “Fee Fie Fo Fum, I smell the blood of a Republican!” Limbaugh and O’Reilly ran for their lives.
Obama the Giant gobbled up McCain in one bite. He began a rampage through the Land of the Free, destroying everything in his path, including Billary, the two-headed Cyclops. He didn’t stop until he reached the White House.
As President, Obama the Giant ended Poverty, established World Peace and gave every citizen a Cadillac.
And they all lived happily ever after.
THE END
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
There Will Be Blood (movie review)
When hubby and I were discussing what to do for Valentine's Day, he suggested dinner and a movie. Perfect. His favorite thing is eating and my favorite thing is going to the movies...what could be better?
Actually, we do the "dinner and a movie" on a fairly regular basis. It's our big "date" night and we have a blast. He suggested a romantic comedy for the occasion. I, on the other hand, wanted to see "There Will Be Blood."
HUBBY: "There Will Be Blood"? Are you crazy? That's not very romantic.
ME: I know, but the previews were amazing! And it's nominated for an Academy Award. I want to see what the fuss is about.
HUBBY: Wouldn't you rather see "Fool's Gold"?
ME: I want to see "There Will Be Blood." Please, honey?
Despite Hubby's adamant statement that he would hate the movie, he agreed. I was so glad when Daniel Day-Lewis proved him wrong.
At the theatre, the opening sequence took us by surprise. There was no music and no opening credits. In fact, there was no dialog for several minutes. Just a man (Day-Lewis) mining for silver. An infant appeared on the scene. A train ride to the future as the infant became a boy. Then all hell broke loose as we saw Day-Lewis take the movie by the horns and wrest it to his will. I've never seen a character portrayed so well. We were mesmerized.
Don't even get me started on themes and motifs: God, Satan, Lies, Greed, Despair and Loneliness, as well as Life, Love and Hope.
The cinematography was superb. Every frame a work of art...light, color, contrast, shape, form. It was like I was at an art museum and every time I turned a corner, the beauty of the next scene took my breath away.
The music in the film was a character as well. For example, the boy becomes deaf due to an oil well explosion. When we are viewing the world from the boy's perspective --- music (cello, violin, viola) reveals the lonely, silent world of the deaf child. A stark contrast to the death and destruction that takes place throughout the story.
The powerful final scene resolves the conflict between Day-Lewis' character and his nemesis: Eli Sunday, the false prophet. Day-Lewis is not a hero in this film. He is evil. He is alone. He hates Man and he hates God. It is not a Hollywood ending where the protagonist changes his stripes and realizes the true meaning of life. He ends the way he began.
After the film, Hubby admitted that he enjoyed the movie, saying it wasn't at all what he expected. It wasn't what I had expected, either. But as far as I was concerned, this film would go down in history as one of the greatest of all time.
Later, at our favorite Mexican restaurant over margaritas, we raised our glasses, looked in each others' eyes and made a Valentine's Day toast: "There Will Be Blood."
Actually, we do the "dinner and a movie" on a fairly regular basis. It's our big "date" night and we have a blast. He suggested a romantic comedy for the occasion. I, on the other hand, wanted to see "There Will Be Blood."
HUBBY: "There Will Be Blood"? Are you crazy? That's not very romantic.
ME: I know, but the previews were amazing! And it's nominated for an Academy Award. I want to see what the fuss is about.
HUBBY: Wouldn't you rather see "Fool's Gold"?
ME: I want to see "There Will Be Blood." Please, honey?
Despite Hubby's adamant statement that he would hate the movie, he agreed. I was so glad when Daniel Day-Lewis proved him wrong.
At the theatre, the opening sequence took us by surprise. There was no music and no opening credits. In fact, there was no dialog for several minutes. Just a man (Day-Lewis) mining for silver. An infant appeared on the scene. A train ride to the future as the infant became a boy. Then all hell broke loose as we saw Day-Lewis take the movie by the horns and wrest it to his will. I've never seen a character portrayed so well. We were mesmerized.
Don't even get me started on themes and motifs: God, Satan, Lies, Greed, Despair and Loneliness, as well as Life, Love and Hope.
The cinematography was superb. Every frame a work of art...light, color, contrast, shape, form. It was like I was at an art museum and every time I turned a corner, the beauty of the next scene took my breath away.
The music in the film was a character as well. For example, the boy becomes deaf due to an oil well explosion. When we are viewing the world from the boy's perspective --- music (cello, violin, viola) reveals the lonely, silent world of the deaf child. A stark contrast to the death and destruction that takes place throughout the story.
The powerful final scene resolves the conflict between Day-Lewis' character and his nemesis: Eli Sunday, the false prophet. Day-Lewis is not a hero in this film. He is evil. He is alone. He hates Man and he hates God. It is not a Hollywood ending where the protagonist changes his stripes and realizes the true meaning of life. He ends the way he began.
After the film, Hubby admitted that he enjoyed the movie, saying it wasn't at all what he expected. It wasn't what I had expected, either. But as far as I was concerned, this film would go down in history as one of the greatest of all time.
Later, at our favorite Mexican restaurant over margaritas, we raised our glasses, looked in each others' eyes and made a Valentine's Day toast: "There Will Be Blood."
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Obama...Yes I Can!
As a die-hard political junkee who cut her teeth on Rush Limbaugh conservatism in 1992, I am more than intrigued with Barack Obama. I consider myself an "Independent," although I've voted Republican in every election since 1984. I'm not what you would call a hardline conservative at all...but in the past I've agreed with the GOP on most issues facing the nation.
This year it's different. I have become an Obamaniac! Listening to his speeches and reading his books, I've come to the conclusion that Obama should be our next president. I have never in my entire life been as inspired by a political candidate. He has a certain quality that draws you in and makes you think that anything is possible.
For the record, I also admire John McCain. I like the fact the conservative base despises him. It shows that he doesn't tow the party line but has the courage to stand up for what he believes in, repercussions be damned.
If Obama and McCain are the nominees for their respective parties, I will be in the delightful position of having to choose between two candidates I would like to see in office. This has never happened before. In the past, I've been forced to choose the lesser of two evils.
This year it's different. I have become an Obamaniac! Listening to his speeches and reading his books, I've come to the conclusion that Obama should be our next president. I have never in my entire life been as inspired by a political candidate. He has a certain quality that draws you in and makes you think that anything is possible.
For the record, I also admire John McCain. I like the fact the conservative base despises him. It shows that he doesn't tow the party line but has the courage to stand up for what he believes in, repercussions be damned.
If Obama and McCain are the nominees for their respective parties, I will be in the delightful position of having to choose between two candidates I would like to see in office. This has never happened before. In the past, I've been forced to choose the lesser of two evils.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
A Winter's Tale
Shakespeare Quote of the Day (A Winter's Tale)
The words of a jealous husband, Leontes, King of Sicilia, spoken of his innocent wife Hermione and Polixenes, King of Bohemia:
ACT I, scene ii:
LEONTES: (to Camillo, a lord of Sicilia) Is whispering nothing? Is leaning cheek to cheek? Is meeting noses? Kissing with inside lip? Stopping the career of laughter with a sigh -- a note infallible of breaking honesty? -- Horsing foot on foot? Skulking in corners? Wishing clocks more swift? Hours, minutes? Noon, midnight? And all eyes blind with the pin and web but theirs? theirs only, that would unseen be wicked? Is this nothing? Why, then the world and all that's in't is nothing, the covering sky is nothing, Bohemia nothing, my wife nothing, nor nothing have these nothings if this be nothing.
The words of a jealous husband, Leontes, King of Sicilia, spoken of his innocent wife Hermione and Polixenes, King of Bohemia:
ACT I, scene ii:
LEONTES: (to Camillo, a lord of Sicilia) Is whispering nothing? Is leaning cheek to cheek? Is meeting noses? Kissing with inside lip? Stopping the career of laughter with a sigh -- a note infallible of breaking honesty? -- Horsing foot on foot? Skulking in corners? Wishing clocks more swift? Hours, minutes? Noon, midnight? And all eyes blind with the pin and web but theirs? theirs only, that would unseen be wicked? Is this nothing? Why, then the world and all that's in't is nothing, the covering sky is nothing, Bohemia nothing, my wife nothing, nor nothing have these nothings if this be nothing.