Changes

1) New hair color and cut. I love it because I can style it different ways and it's CUTE! I had no idea that my hair was dragging me down, both emotionally and spiritually. And I wouldn't have realized it if I hadn't taken the step to change.

2) New job possibility. I've been an administrative assistant for a couple of years. I enjoy my work and the people I work with, but I really miss a job where I get to write and be creative. Looks like Divine Intervention is at work and I have an opportunity to help write and develop our company's new e-newsletter.

3) New household situation. Our daughter and granddaughter have moved in with us. They will be here for several months because of personal reasons. Hubby and I are so glad they are here and that we are able to help them as they forge a new direction in their lives.

4) New phone. Our family has a new phone plan. I've graduated from a BlackBerry Curve to a HTC Evo 4G (Android!) YIKES! It will take some getting used to. The most difficult part of the change has been adapting to the touch screen. I have 30 days to decide if I want to keep this phone or change to something else.

5) Life Assessment. I have no idea what direction my life is taking right now. All I can do at this point is take one day at a time and see what happens. I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I must choose a path but I don't know which one. One path leads me to pursue my writing more seriously. Another path sends me to a paralegal certificate. Yet another goes down the road of website design and photography. There are other paths that lead to barista, baker and artist. Or do I pursue my lifelong dream of filmmaking? (Yeah, right.) So which path do I take? Or is there something else completely different?

No More Ugly Shoes!

I don't know if it's because it's a new year and time for a change or because I'm sick and tired of mediocrity, but I have made a decision. No more ugly shoes!

I used to think that women who wore heels were crazy. Who could stand the sore feet and back pain? But then I realized when you buy higher quality shoes, you don't have that problem. For years I bought cheap shoes based on comfort (boring loafers, spinster/librarian clodhoppers, or ugly sneakers). Of course I had the token high heels for special events but they hurt my feet because 1) they were cheap and 2) I wasn't used to wearing a shoe that had a heel higher than two inches.

Over the last year, I've reassessed my wardrobe and realized that wearing pretty shoes is one of the best things you can do to build self confidence and improve your outlook on life.

You think I'm kidding? Try it and see. You'll discover that wearing pretty shoes not only improves your mood, but also sends a positive vibe to others you encounter. Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Maybe they did but I didn't believe it.

Now I really enjoy shoe shopping. No, I'm not one of those crazy people with hundreds of shoes (did someone say Carrie Bradshaw?)  I've learned to be a wise shopper. Instead of buying cheap shoes that wear out in a few months, I spend a little more for high quality shoes that last.. The two requirements I have when I buy shoes are 1) they must be pretty and 2) they must be comfortable. Yes, it's possible to have both. Since I've been doing this, I have never had a blisters on my feet. Cheap shoes cause blisters.

I;m also learning to appreciate the talents and skills of shoe designers. Until now, I'd never paid much attention to shoe design. I'm amazed at the beauty and craftsmanship of a gorgeous pair of shoes. It's made me appreciate other beautiful things in life that I encounter every day. My eyes are open to the beauty all around me. Going to a shoe store is like walking into an art gallery. It takes my breath away.

Okay, maybe I'm going a little overboard with the metaphors. I'm not trying to convert others to my way of thinking. I'm just sharing what I've experienced. It all boils down to this: No more ugly shoes. That's my new motto.

First Lady in Red

Michelle Obama is absolutely stunning in this beautiful red silk organza dress by Sarah Burton of the London House Alexander McQueen. She wore the gown at the state dinner for President Hu Jintao of China.

A lovely, classy lady!

New Me

Today was my first day at work since my new hair so I took a pic with my blackberry. I'm wondering what took me so long to cover the gray mop. I love my new hair!

BEFORE:

Live and Let Dye

Okay. I'm seriously thinking about dyeing my hair. I've been debating this decision for months.

Pros:
No gray
New look
Shinier hair

CONS:
Retouching
A nightmare to grow out again

In my research I've found there is something called Demi-Permanent color. That's where the color washes out gradually over several shampoos.This would let me test the waters and see if I want to go hard core.

But I'm thinking of throwing caution to the wind and just going for permanent hair color. My natural hair is dark brown (like Sandra Bullock), so according to my research I should go a shade or two lighter. Lighter brown would be nice, but I'd really like to have auburn hair. Do I dare?

Working from Home? No, Thank You

It's taken me over two years, but I now realize I don't do well working from home, setting my own hours and being my own boss. Freelancing sounds like the perfect job, and maybe for some people it is. Not me. I need structure. I need a place to go in the morning. And most of all I need a steady paycheck.

Although I'm an artist, I'm not cut out for the artist's lifestyle. I can't seem to merge Art for art's sake and Art to make money. This is called cognitive dissonance: "the theory that the tension-producing effects of incongruous cognitions motivate individuals to reduce such tension." (I knew my psych degree would come in handy some day.)

The dream job of being paid well for your creativity and not compromising doesn't exist. Either you will be a creative artist  and risk being in the poor house OR you will work for someone else but have the financial freedom to pursue your art on the side. Yes, there are some people who can make very good money and be financially secure in the arts, but the question remains: how much of their "art" did they compromise?

I don't think I'm being pessimistic. I'm being realistic. We need to rethink the word "Work." What is "work"?


The dictionary defines it this way: activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something.

In addition:
Work is getting paid a wage for your time and talents.
Work keeps the economy going.
Work is exhausting (shout out to America's lumberjacks)
Work is not always easy (unless you work for the government)
Work is exciting (or it can be if you have a good attitude)
Work gives us purpose and meaning.

I've also realized I enjoy office work. I like working on the computer, filing, writing business letters, research, staff meetings. I like taking on new projects. I like talking to my coworkers. I like wearing nice clothes. I like the 9 to 5 work day with weekends and evenings free. I like paid holidays and sick days.

Ironically, I wrote more stories and plays when  I was working full-time than I did when I was freelancing full time. I was more creative and was better able to manage my time off. When I worked for myself, I didn't have any time off. It seemed like I was working all the time but not producing anything. Procrastination took over my life.

I'm not saying working from home is a bad thing. It's great if that's what you want to do. It just wasn't for me. Thinking back, I was in love with the "idea" of working at home. On paper, it sounds great. Get up whenever you want, drink coffee, read the paper, write and create all day. But in reality, to make it succeed, you have to work at it. Hard work. Even when you don't feel like it. For me it was stressful and the most uncreative, unproductive time of my life.

I don't think I'm sacrificing my creativity for money. As I said before, I feel more creative than ever. I'm working on a full-length play and an anthology of short stories. I manage my time better and I am happier. I have a place to go in the morning and I like my office environment. I have the best of both worlds.

As for this dreamer, she's had a reality check. And it's not all bad.

Grey's Anatomy Continues

Tonight the best season EVER of Grey's Anatomy continues. The shooting episode was INSANE! I can't imagine being in that situation. Talk about pushing a person to the limit. It's a wonder anyone survived the emotional trauma.

The only thing that took me out of the drama (only for a moment), was why the SWAT team took so long.

I think that Miranda, Percy, Meredith, Christina and April endured the most horrific situations. I find it interesting that of everyone, Christina had the hardest time adjusting, considering her take-charge attitude and her natural tendency toward reason and logic. Although...her world fell apart...reason went out the door. The violence made no sense in a rational world.

Stay tuned...

Resolved: Hopes and Dreams

There's been much debate about New Year's resolutions. Some are against them; others are for them. I'm in the latter category. For me, the New Year is the time when we can start all over with a clean slate. Old things have passed away, behold, all things are new.

In the Bible, the Israelites celebrated the Year of Jubilee once every 50 years.  That was when all slaves were set free. All land was returned to the original owners. All debts canceled. I don't know about you, but that excites me. I look at every New Year as a Year of Jubilee in my heart.


As for resolutions, I don't see them as a legalistic set of expectations or a "to do" list. Perhaps "resolution" is the wrong word. Let's call it "Hopes and Dreams" for the New Year. Yes, I like that better.

All my life people have called me a "dreamer," often not in a good way. But I like being a dreamer. I like dreaming about my life and thinking about the good things my future holds. Not to say everything will be smooth sailing. That's not how life is. But we can rejoice in the trials, trusting that God has a wonderful plan for each of us. Let's enjoy the journey.

My Hopes and Dreams for 2011:
Helping other people in practical ways and not judging them.
Taking better care of my body.
Saying "no" to stress and worry; trusting that God will give me Peace.
Telling my husband, everyday, that I love him.
Not to over-extend myself with too many projects.
Have balance in all things.
Be thankful to God for all that He has done for me.