Monday, August 14, 2006
A brand new ice cream just arrived on the market. The Harpo Frizz. It's made of the finest quality ingredients. Lemony sherbet with cocoanuts and animal crackers.
My ice cream has a first name
My ice cream has a second name
Oh, I love to eat it every day
And if you ask me why I'll say
Cuz Harpo Frizz will curl your hair
And make you honk 'til people stare
After a busy day washing Ashley's polo shirts and ironing his jockey shorts, I always look forward to a cool, refreshing Harpo Frizz. The sweet taste brings to mind my halcyon days at Tara before the Yankees burned Atlanta to the ground and forced me to make a dress out of Mama's portieres. As God is my witness, I will never be without a Harpo Frizz again!
I'm an honest man. Would I lie to you? No. I tell the truth. And the truth is that Harpo Frizz is the best ice cream in New York. Did I say, "New York"? No. The best ice cream in America. Did I say "America"? No. The best ice cream in the world. If you don't get Harpo Frizz, I can't guarantee your safety. Accidents happen. I have no control over what other people do. It's an offer you can't refuse.
If you don't get Harpo Frizz, you're gonna regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon. And for the rest of your life.
I know what you're thinking. Did he have six Harpo Frizzes or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement I kind of lost track myself. But you've got to ask yourself a question: Do you want another Harpo Frizz? Well, do ya, punk?