This month in my movie column I spoof "Double Indemnity," starring Fred MacMurray as Walter Neff, insurance salesman; Barbara Stanwyck as Phyllis Dietrichson, the femme fatale; and Edward G. Robinson as Barton Keyes, Neff's cigar-smoking boss and expert in the insurance game.
In honor of Christmas, I wrote a parody of Clement Clarke Moore's poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas" and told Neff's story. I call it "Double Indemnity: Twas the Night Before Murder."
'Twas the night before murder; I entered the house.
Phyllis Dietrichson lived there; her spouse was a louse.
I noticed her anklet and started to drool,
I knew she was trouble, I wasn't a fool.
"You move pretty fast, Mr. Neff," she opined,
"How fast was I going?" I asked, then she chimed:
"Ninety miles an hour, you'd better slow down."
"Give me a ticket and I'll get out of town."
"Suppose I let you off with a warning," she joked.
"Suppose it doesn't take, baby, " I choked.
"Suppose I whack you over the knuckles," said she.
"Suppose I bust out crying." This game was quite creepy.
But we kept it going as long as we could.
She knew I was trapped, and that wasn't good.
"Oh, Walter," she said, as she poured the ice tea.
"Insurance I need, double indemnity."
To read the rest of the story go to www.nightsandweekends.com then click Dial M for Movies under Columns.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!